Journal Entry— Before The Tests

God,

The breeze has lulled me. So beautiful. Feeling the nearness of your presence in my backyard. Surrounded by imperfection… broken fence slats, dirty towels strewn about, a half blown-up pool float… and yet Heaven is near.

Thank you for tranquility of the soul. Thank you for peace that transcends human understanding. Thank you for evenings, for fresh air, for trees, for all the things that reflect dimly a perfection we’ve never known and yet know so well.

I want so much for my family to experience this kind of peace— this stabilizing, all-consuming steadiness of the soul. How can I pass it on to them? Share it with them? Is it only for your Spirit to give? Please grant it to them, Lord.

Tomorrow is my mammogram and ultrasound. Very surreal. Continue to be near.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

- Philippians 4: 6-7