Journal Entry— The Lump

Feeling nervous this morning for two main reasons:

1.) This is the first workday where Adam is not expected to go into the office. Thankfully, we’re taken care of financially while we dive even deeper into finding the next job/ ministry opportunity/ church family. But it’s yet another step into the unknown as Adam will be home now, doing what he can to look for a lead pastor position while relying on God’s direction and timing.

2.) Late last night I found a lump in my breast. It’s probably in my head… probably a lymph node or something completely explainable, but Aunt Liz was diagnosed with breast cancer around my age, and I feel it would be unwise to ignore it. Last week, I wore a bra differently than I normally do, changed the straps around, and since then I’ve had discomfort in my armpit. It finally dawned on me last night to feel around and do a self-exam. Sure enough, there’s definitely something there that I’ve never felt before. I’m calling Terry, my midwife, as soon as her office opens this morning.

In prayer, God, I’m giving these things to you, remembering who you are, remembering the way you work. Gratitude dispels dark thoughts and I experience that there truly is fullness of joy in your presence. I am yours. And I will walk down whatever path you have marked out for me.

If the wind goes where you send it, so will I.

100 Billion X, Worship Song